If you have been the parent of a two year old or ever known a two year old, you know the power of “no.”  You have a beautiful, sweet, innocent child who is discovering the world and delighting in the many colors and textures of life, that as adults we take for granted.  And then one day, one fateful day, this child learns the word “No.” 

No (I don’t want to eat my peas!)

No (I don’t want to take a bath!)

No (I don’t want stay here!)

No (I don’t want to go there!)

No (I don’t know what I don’t want to happen, but I’m going to say “No!” just in case!)

 “No” is the moment we each began to truly distinguish ourselves from the rest of the world.  I’m an individual, I’m me!  I assert who I am in the world!  And while the “no’s” have the potential to leave even the best parent yearning for life before language, Mom’s and Dad’s also sense that those “no’s” represent the awakening of a unique, wonderful creation who will continue to amuse, surprise, sometimes disappoint and often awe them, as long as they have the distinct pleasure of knowing this evolving human being.

 And everything is going great.  We’re two and testing, we’re teens and testing and then something mysterious happens to many of us.  Somehow, somewhere along our path, we forget how to say no.  Maybe I’m a teenager trying to fit in and say yes to be accepted as part of the group — when I know I should be saying no.  And as adults, the challenge to say no increases many times over.  We have responsibilities, a family to care for, a mortgage to pay, a job to keep and we put our dreams on hold.  Many times every day, each one of us is confronted with the choice between yes or no and often, if we’re honest with ourselves, our heads might say “yes,” but our hearts say “no.” 

 Now you might be thinking I’m overstating my case.  So let me ask.  How many of you reading this post have more to do than you have time in which to do it?  And I’m not just talking about work, I’m talking about life.  If you can honestly say that your life — work, family, friends, personal, spiritual and physical — is in harmonious balance, then maybe this post is not on target for you. 

However, if you find that you’re often over-committed or doing things you’d rather not be doing or not focusing your time on what is truly important to you, then maybe it’s time to embrace the ‘two year old’ in you!

 Here are a few suggestions for getting in touch with that ‘two year old’ inside of you:

 1.     Do a quick life inventory ~ “What’s inside your joy box?”

 Think about each aspect of your life:  work, family, friends, personal, spiritual, physical, financial.  Score yourself from 1 to 10, 10 being the highest on each aspect in terms of how well you feel you attend to that component.  For example, you may feel that you’re achieving an 8 in your work or business (you’re meeting your strategic goals), but a 5 with friends (because you don’t seem to take as much time you might want to stay in touch) and score on physical of 1 (because you haven’t exercised for years and keep putting off that visit to the doctor). 

 How can you raise the low scores?  Pick the lowest scoring life component and brainstorm ten ways you can increase that component in your life.  Now commit to do one each week for the next month.  Then move to the next lowest scoring component and do the same the following month.

 2.     Say “no”  first.  Always!  “Go ahead, throw that temper  tantrum!”

You don’t need to say it out loud, but in your mind, you do need to pause and just say “no” to begin to give yourself the room to make a clear, conscious choice.  And the more you say “no,” the more comfortable you’ll get with the word.  You’ll begin to notice that the world doesn’t implode and life goes on!  And if you want to raise the stakes, then tell the person you trust in your life, maybe a spouse or a friend or a work colleague, that every time they ask you to do something you are going to first say “no.”  Then you’re going to consciously choose what you want to do.  How liberating! 

 3. Rap about it.  Okay, maybe not.

 How about doing the internet baby dance!  Go for it!  When you say no, you give others the chance to shine!

Let me leave you with the words to a rap Young MC did about young people saying no to drugs.  I think he has some wisdom for all of us.

Have a blessed day,

 Sharon McGee

 ’cause better safe than sorry

this is for real, this ain’t no game or folly

its your life and you only got one 

so you better do it right or it will soon be done

 

You want to be popular, you want to be cool

you want to be the one that every body likes at school

you want to be every thing just for every one else

but you better think of what you want to be for your self

 

 Every day people livin in the same old mess

hard to be original and not be like the rest

you got to go for what you know, you cant afford to guess

and heaven knows what would happen if you did say yes

 ~ From “Just say no” by Young MC

Maybe there is something that we are endowed with by the Creator that gives us an opportunity to naturally figure out how to make this a better place. ~ Bob Weir (Grateful Dead)

As a business owner or leader, you know firsthand the pressures of making critical decisions that impact your enterprise and the lives of your employees and customers.  And in some cases, even the lives of members of your community.   Who of us hasn’t, at one time or another, been  so distracted by moving fast or grabbing market share that we took our eye off the ball of the fundamentals and like a pedestrian looking the wrong way, got hit by a bus we didn’t even see coming?

The ball, of course, represents the fundamentals of your business.  For most of us, customer focus, quality and cost fall into our list of fundamentals.  In the building industry safety is key, both for the welfare of our employees and for the bottom line of our business.  What are the top five fundamentals of your business?  Do you have a way to monitor those fundamentals?

Some of you may be thinking, Sharon, I’m a one person show. Do I really need to be identifying and following the fundamentals of my business.  And my answer to all of my solo entrepreneurs out there is absolutely YES!  As a solo enterprise, your business is even more sensitive to any change in the dynamics.  When an employee of McDonalds  has a break down in customer focus by giving a customer a McChicken when they ordered a Big Mac and then fails to correct the situation, McDonalds has one unhappy customer who may McSplit and never return or more likely tells family and friends about their poor experience.   When you are a solo entrepreneur, in a moment of thoughtlessness, you fail to deliver to your customer, you could be losing someone who generates 25-50% of your revenue.

So we all have a ball called the fundamentals of our business.  How do we keep an eye on that ball?  I like to have some key metrics that tell me how my business is performing.  And then when one or more of those metrics begins to trend negatively, I focus my energies on determining the root cause and taking any necessary corrective actions.  Safety is a good example of the benefits of monitoring metrics and taking appropriate, timely action.  Most accidents are not single events, but the culmination of a series of small events and poor decision making.  For example, a crew gets to a work site late.  They feel rushed and know they need to get this job done quickly to stay on schedule for the day.  In the rush of the moment, one of the crew members fails to put on safety glasses, figuring it’s a small job that will only take a few minutes and going back to the truck for the glasses will just eat up more time.  Then the drill bit kicks up a metal shaving injuring the crew member.  Now we have an injured employee, insurance issues, lost time for the employee and the crew, delays with other projects, etc.   All of those consequences came out of the crew feeling rushed.  And so in this instance, I’d want to know what about our project planning or scheduling process is leading crews to feel rushed for time so significantly that they have started to compromise their own safety.

My challenge for all of us in August is to step back for a moment, clarify the key fundamentals of our unique businesses, determine what metrics will give us the best indication of the status of those fundamentals and then make the monitoring of those metrics part of our daily activity as business leaders and owners.  Please don’t compromise safety or procrastinate in doing what needs to be done.

Go out and make it a great day!

Sharon McGee